I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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