She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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