woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
