I wannas sexs uuuuu
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize