I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
