I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
