when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i will never coherently bang her
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
