Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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