Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
