I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
