How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
