I'm lost and stupid without you.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
