that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
