When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
