A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
