What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
