butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
