3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
