i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
