I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
