my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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