What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sorry my hands just texted you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
