I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
