Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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