You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
