New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
They have beer where we have blood.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ladies don't puke and tell
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
