I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
