ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
