I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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