we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
