My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize