Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
