Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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