it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize