Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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