Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize