He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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