I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I can't put those talents on a resume
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
