great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
