no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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