But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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