Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
