I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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