I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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