woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
