Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I love you. Go after that dick
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
