I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
