Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
