So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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