and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize