remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
