Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
