Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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