Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
