i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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