You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
