She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's rum buckets o'clock
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
