You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
