it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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