1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
These tits shall not be calmed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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