He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
