It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
