and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize