Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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