that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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