Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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