he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Mom said you looked used
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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