He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
