I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
