Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm both gender and math confused
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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