youre lurking in front of me
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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