WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
