Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Terrible idea I love it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
