ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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