Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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