so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
