Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize