I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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