And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He had one of those small greek statue penises
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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