Betty ford says i'm here all night
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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