The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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