quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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